KCI The Anti_Meth Site

When meth addicts are out all night...what are they doing?

lynne	When meth addicts are out all night ... what are they doing? i have another question. i have a lot of questions because when you date a meth addict they lie and never tell you anything so you never know what was really going on with them! but many times my boyfriend would be out a lot and all night too. i always wondered : what the hell does he do when he is out all the time and also out all night? he told me he wasn't cheating --- that he was out at casinos gambling and he did have a gambling addiction. he said he did not cheat on me. but are they at other users houses taking apart a car or something? and by the way he never cleaned our apt. just wondering ... and all those phone calls he would get and he owed money. were these dealers and other addicts. i mean what is really going on behind our backs when dealing with a meth user? i am and was still in the dark, like he wanted me to be.
Replies...
SOS 1988	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? the only time I a) get into debt and b) stay out all night is when I'm smoking meth and various other drugs all night....
Kell happy	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? The activities of a meth addict can be as different as the addicts themselves. I'm an ex-user. I've seen people tweak on all kinds of stuff. Friends of mine did crafts all night. Some did clean, but maybe spent hours just on one thing. Some people do have sex, but not necessarily everyone. You may be safer assuming him "not cheating" could be a lie, but on the other hand, I'd be fairly willing to believe the gambling story too. Some do take apart a car. Some people I knew would take apart stuff, and a ton of it seemed never to get put back together. Some did writing or drawing. Sometimes I would just watch everyone. I liked to sit up and talk and smoke cigarettes and drink pop or coffee. Time goes by incredibly fast sometimes when you're high, at least it did for me. Suddenly the sun would be coming up. Anyway, the point is, everyone is different. Glad to see you're here asking questions. It beats the heck out of letting them rattle around in your head and never getting any input or support. I'm glad you're here.
lynne	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? thanks for the fast replies. i am still obsessed about all the trauma i experienced with him. the not knowing killed me. we lived together so can you speculate as to where he would be? if time flies while high maybe he was at a friend's house or something? do they go to parties? and why are they out at night? he did not work consistently. isn't it a drag to be out all night? it seems a lot nicer to be cozied up in bed sleeping with a girlfriend than running around at 3.a.m. ? pls. more information! thanks
Kell happy	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I was usually at friends' houses, other friends who were using with me. That's the most comfortable place to be when you're high, with other people who are using. I went to lots of parties, to the 2 local bars, or anywhere where people were loaded. Houses where people went to get high, etc. Being out at night was actually more comfortable for me at times. Daylight was uncomfortable. Too many people to be paranoid about, too much light. I'd say that learning to let go of the trauma and obsession is going to be the most helpful thing for you. Sure, ask questions and figure out some truth about the situation, but you ultimately need to learn about healing yourself. Give yourself permission to take care of you.
Sfj	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Tweaking.
Rubyy 2zday	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? yep, tweeking, sexing, dancing, trying to put a deal together, hiding the bushes, working on cars, peeking out the windows, making curtains.... the list is endless ... Some people do it alone, some do with others...
le grumps	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Usually at someone's house, getting high, mumbling and whispering, fixing your bike for hours and hours, laughing at you when you call to check on your loved one, bickering, staring into space, sex, abandoned cigarettes, one after the other, picking you skin off, seeing the light creep behind the shades, talking @#%$... ...and basically, being all alone in a room full of people who are also all alone.
Bent But Not Broken1	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Welcome to KCI-I hope you find sobriety and peace of mind here as well as make many good friends. This is a great family to be part of when using, wanting to quit, in recovery, needing knowledge about loved ones that are doing meth, and giving back to all that have given so graciously to you. Some are out all night selling, trying to find some to buy, cooking, trying to find a place to cook, tweaking with friends, "working" on things, getting everything done, getting nothing done, talking about very meaningful aspects of life, talking about nothing serious, losing track of time, seriously working at their job (until meth gets the best of the user), having sex, thinking about when they could have sex (but meth has now ruined that), etc., etc. One thing about meth, the serious user of meth will stop at little to make sure they have their next fix...even if they have to drive to another state to get it. Yes, gambling addictions, porn addictions, and other substance addictions can be part of being out all night. Suffice it to say, whether you are the one out all night or are with the one out all night, eventually you will get tired and crazy-either from using meth or from wondering about the one you know using meth. Learn all you can about this drug. Ask as many questions as you have and read the "Old FAQ's" and the new FAQ's. Read the stories posted here. Read this discussion board. The more you know, the better equipped you are to deal with meth, user and non-user alike. Again, welcome to KCI-the place that allowed me to lay down the pipe 90 days ago today. Life does feel better clean and facing life as it comes. We do recover. Last but not least, as long as there is breathe, there is hope for any meth user to quit...but quit sooner rather than later.
Ignor amus	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Quote from le grumps: "...and basically, being all alone in a room full of people who are also all alone." Well said. And now he's leaving you all alone. I am sorry for the despair you feel, but maybe you should focus on YOU instead of him. If you can't quit obsessing over him, that's a problem. I know it's hard in your shoes, but you've got to remove yourself from the situation. You can't really do anything, and the questions will never end. Nor will the staying out all night. I am sorry for your pain. I truly am. It's mind-boggling for the loved ones. edited to add: I'm sorry, I missed your intro....Are you no longer with him? If so, forget everything I just said, everyone else already answered it
Loraura	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? *Quote:* because when you date a meth addict they lie and never tell you anything so you never know what was really going on with them! A better question -- why would you date someone who lies and never tells you anything so you never know what is really going on with them? Meth or no meth -- that's just self-inflicted insanity. Like volunteering for feeling insecure and miserable. Why would anyone want to do that voluntarily?
lynne	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? i fell in love with him before we lived together and before i found out he was a drug addict. by that time i was already deep in. after you are in love it's hard to let go. on top of it was the : i want to help him syndrome i was naive. i never dealt with such a situation before. i was alone in a new city. he was my boyfriend. and i loved him. famous last words.
Nyte Passion	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Friends would come to my house and "the girls" generally sat around doing' lines, drinking' and talking all night .. the guys were in the garage tweaking on a project, getting high, drinking' beer and bullshyting. My ex-brother in-law aka "Tin-man" (he smoked meth off tin-foil) any-way he was always cheating on his wife and never failed to have some 'bag whore' with him. When my ex would stay out all night away from our home ... I often wondered what he was doing .. but I just figured probably just the usual "tweakin' on some project" and getting high ... same shyte .. different location is all.
soso confused	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I was told time and time again that he was setting up deals, collecting debts, watching others and the most famous, I fell asleep. For years I believed this but I hate to say it, but from what I have seen they are usually hooking up with others for sex. He used to tell me stories of one guy who would have three of four girls hanging out trying to outlast the others so they could ultimately be the one to end the night in the bedroom with the guy who owned the house. Pretty low self esteem these women had and what a chauvinist punk the guy was!
Eyes Wide Open	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? Peeping out the blinds for hours tripping on noises and imaginary people or things. God what a waste of a Saturday night!
vctry7	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I usually just sat up all night talking and passing the pipe/foil back and forth. When I was high it seemed like it had only been an hour, when it had actually been 8 or 10.
scorpio	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I used to go from Thrift Store to Thrift store and pillage through the stuff people had left outside for donations. I wasn't alone,, often there where lots and lots of other tweekers trying to beat each other to the treasures. I found one thrift store that had a little shed with a window to drop things in,,,, we used to climb through the window,,, which wasn't very low to the ground.... I think that this is how the flashlights that attach to your head got invented,, or at least why,,, or that could have been for crystal digging in the dark?
Penel0pe	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? *Quote:* or that could have been for crystal digging in the dark? You talking rose quartz crystals out of the mines, or crystals out of the carpet?? I ask because as you well know, I've done both... the rose quartz we did during the DAY, though... Half of what we dug out of the ground is probably STILL sitting on the side of that mine shaft... it was too heavy to carry up the hill to the car.. LOL!!!
vctry7	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I used to hear fascinating stories about all the treasures collected during dumpster diving. I always wanted to go, but was too afraid of getting arrested. My friend got questioned by cops one night behind a shopping center. She showed him a beautiful necklace she found and offered to give it to him for his wife or girlfriend. She didn't get picked up for trespassing, but he did turn the necklace down. She also brought me a carload of boxes from Goodwill. She beat the other tweakers and loaded a minivan up. We took out what we could wear and I sold the rest at a consignment shop. I didn't realize until later that I was actually stealing from Goodwill. I felt so bad about it I have donated our clothes for the last 7 years, instead of selling them like I used to.
mystical women 69	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? I did the same thing eyeswide open was talking about. Or i got hooked on word search. I would go through book's at a time.
Sfj	Re: when they're out all night ... what are they doing? One guy in CMA often tells the following "War Story" of his tweaker days. "I often spent my tweaking days having sex and digging around in dumpsters - usually at the same time."